Gifts

04/30/14

1.
I happened to be enjoying it immensely. That’s why she stopped.
It had been a long time since I had been deeply into the essence of a thing.
It could have been that our activities were merely suspended, but I doubted it. I
doubted it very much. She wasn’t that kind of girl. She wanted things yesterday. She
wanted history.
I didn’t want to change the direction of my existence. I wanted to continue. I
wanted to appropriate the necessities.
After we were interrupted by explanations, by well-meaning friends and curious
neighbors, I offered them some carefully selected potentials.
Because I was in charge.
Because I knew they wouldn’t accept them.
I wanted to enjoy this immensely.
But life had been altered. Which, I am told, happens continuously. Must I violate
expectations to enjoy anything thoroughly or is it merely the idea of being deeply into the
essence of a thing which provides pleasure?
You had a piece of paper in your mouth and you were trying to write on it with
your teeth. I can only assume that what you were writing was not this, and if the mistake
is not mistaken, then perhaps the mistake’s broken condition allows it to offer two
sources of potential. I have grown certain that my speculations should not stop when the
subject to which they are applied is altered.

2.
I have lived in this meadow for a long time now and the snow has avoided me. A
meadow sometimes allows that. The sky can seem too far away to matter even though the
sky is another meadow and no meadow is ever like any other meadow.
Be careful of the ideas a meadow has. Don’t eat what it thinks you should. Don’t
follow it. Where it wants to go is right where it is.
Because dreams are not entirely dreams, I am one of the problems the meadow
dreams about, and in this way I let it have its way with me, which is not always what it
really wants.
In order to discover this I had to visit a few interested parties and be interested.
I don’t have anything else to offer yet. Which, I am told, happens continuously.



Rich Ives is the author of Tunneling to the Moon: A Psychological Gardener’s Book of Days currently being published in serial @ Silenced Press everyday in 2014 and forthcoming in paperback. Begin from the beginning, catch up, read daily. Just refer to the Burrow Guide.