An Apology for What I’ve Done to You


I didn’t mean to make you so happy. I only wanted to get along well in the world. I
wasn’t expecting any miracles or weddings or especially delightful mudpies or tea with
the king and queen under the old elm tree. I wasn’t trying to make you so sad, either. It
just turns out that way sometimes.
Here, have a tape recording of the crickets played backwards. Then we’ll attack the
caravan for those delicious tangerines. And after we’ve taken everything back, we’ll give
it all away again, no strings attached.
And then someone’s voice was saying, “I’ll come back for you. We’ll swallow the
sunset and start over. You’ll see. Everything will be fine again.”
You’re right. It’s not my voice. I’d be lying. The world is raw. A herd of muscles
grazing on the flames of birds bursting everywhere in your body, the slow swallowing
which the damp dark opens.
Because more is not all we want either.

Rich Ives is the author of Tunneling to the Moon: A Psychological Gardener’s Book of Days currently being published in serial @ Silenced Press everyday in 2014 and forthcoming in paperback. Begin from the beginning, catch up, read daily. Just refer to the Burrow Guide.