You Are A Little Bit Happier Than I Am

06/10/07

some of my happiest moments in life occur on AOL instant messenger
if i get hit a little by a truck tonight i’m okay with that
i want to pour orange juice on my face
that night with the green sky
poems that look weird
spring break
things i wanted to do today
i want to start a band
i am unemployed
October
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November
my favorite book of poetry right now
i saw you on the street
loneliness is just a word that means you are feeling alone and depressed and starting to think about how difficult and strangely impossible it is for you to be interested in the same people who are interested in you and how if you don’t change your worldview and personality soon then you will probably always feel alone and depressed because you can’t remember a time when you haven’t felt alone and depressed but really you can and that is when you were a small child but that small child seems like a different person, really, than who you are right now and you can’t become a different person anymore because you are over twenty years old and people this age don’t change unless they fall off a barn and get a long metal rod through their brain and then they change drastically and get studied by scientists and never have to get a real job again but always look very alone and far away and doomed on TV even if they and all their friends and family and an international team of doctors, neural surgeons, and psychologists—cognitive, behavioral, courtroom, and analytical—say that they aren’t at all
pessimism? or robotics?
it’ll get different
Friday
i am about to kill my literary agent
4:30 a.m.
thanksgiving
Appreciate Me For Everything Good I Have Done In The Past
i honestly do not know who this poem is directed at but i still somehow wrote it with conviction
I Am ‘I Don’t Know What I Am’ And You Are Afraid Of Me And So Am I
i hate the world and i’m not immature
i am about to express myself
The Poem I Wrote In My Room After We Fought On The Internet And You Called Me A Dick And Said You Had To Go To Sleep And Said You Would Email Me Over Thanksgiving From Home But Then Said ‘Forget It’ After I Said About You Emailing Me Over Thanksgiving From Home That ‘I Doubt It’
My Dreams Are Almost Always Nightmares In Retrospect
you were a martial arts master and you worked at circuit city
you published a one-page comic where someone freaks out while eating breakfast
an instant messenger conversation we had about how my dad was in jail
you are somewhere in florida right now
things you have emailed me
in manhattan on 29th street across the avenues then over a railing there is a little beach
book reviewers always praise books as ‘life-affirming’ because the more humans there are on earth the better
promise i’ll vote for you
poem to end my head off
i see million dollar baby, starring clint eastwood, with my mom
you are my mom
when i think of grapefruits my heart beats faster
i am ‘you’ to you
Washington Mutual Is A Bank That Is Everywhere
I Will Like The Things I Dislike, Hate, Or Am Indifferent Towards
April
walking home in cold weather
my brother is vacationing on a mountain with his girlfriend and i found out from my dad
February
At That Leftover Crack Concert Two Years Before I Met You


Tao Lin is an American novelist, poet, essayist, short-story writer, and artist. He has published two novels, two books of poetry, one short story collection, and one novella in print as well as an extensive assortment of online content.