Lying in the tall grass with the mosquitoes,
Hidden like a circus animal just pretending to be wild.
Clouds move and dance around mixing colors of grey.
I prey for rain to wash my body free of sin.
The taste of the camel that I bummed
From the Mexican in the park still lingers,
So i wash it away with my vitamin water,
Laced with cheap vodka.
The warm burn, the wind blows, the rush of clarity,
The air is moist, the silence is loud, and I’m tipsy.
With closed eyes, i can imagine just how it travels;
Threw my chapped broken lips…
Down my red sore throat…
Into my young damaged lungs…
Filling my fast beating heart.
Something has to fill that empty space, liquor
Has always got the job done, for a brief time.
Eventually it drains, it always drains.
Until then i will just lay here,
Letting my problems haunt me, and my fears consume me.

Summer is just a breath away,
Spring was just the storm before the twister.
Board up the windows; stock the basements with supplies,
This is gonna be a stop drop and roll one.
No thanks i won’t be joining you, my red sparkling shoes are on.
Adventure is an all too frequent event around here
Remember when we all got drunk;
Me neither, but i hear we had the time of our lives.
Beating drums, mellow guitars, a strong bass line, music plays.
The sound of romance creeping away, the sound of love crashing down,
Cracking in the sky, and flashing right before my eyes.
Hitting my expressionless face…
Covering my motionless body…
Into the cups of my hands…
Filling my wordless mouth.
Still like a corpse, this field my grave, this park my tomb.
The foreshadowing life hinted and threw at me, wasn’t any help,
I forged on, head held high, not always honest, and not always sincere
Violent tantrums, and passionate kisses, boy you were good.
It was cruel but, damn couldn’t it have been real?

The earth is wet with mud and puddles begin to build,
Drowning seems the best option; my heart is heavy enough to sink.
Too many lessons have been learnt
Through my choice of companions and confidents.
His eyes were pure, our love strong, but his addiction stronger.
He is my soul mate. What was supposed to be forever?
Ended with “i almost hate you as much as i love you”
Her eyes were bright, our love strong, but her denial stronger.
She is my best friend, my other half.
She was everything I’m not, and took everything i was.
Don’t worry, new lovers will come, it’ll go the same;
Meeting a lost soul…
Bonding over alcohol…
Growing close until we fall…
Watching as they leave.
Understand this, I’ll say. We were good, once.
And baby i am just bad news, i sold my soul.
Breaking spirits, destroying hope, and ruining faiths
Are just a few of my hobbies, just activities i enjoy to partake in.
Do me and i will do you, we can be gods together.

Samantha Millard
Currently living in Ohio